Chapter 3: It’s ok to not be ok!

Lifestyle Blog

Currently half way through our fourth week in isolation, it’s fair to say I’m feeling highly fed up and extremely deflated. Having recently lost my freelance job and not being able to see my family over the Easter weekend, I spent the majority of yesterday in floods of tears and feeling very sorry for myself, until a friend told me to snap out of it (which ,definitely worked).

Reflecting back on the past three and a half weeks in isolation I have witnessed amazing efforts on social media from people appraising NHS staff, celebrities reminding people to stay at home and lots of positive self-motivation tips. However, I have also noticed an increasing pressure on making sure your daily routine fits alongside the ideal Instagram day. I want to remind people that it’s ok not to wake up at 6am and have completed a 10k run by 9am. It’s ok not to follow the Bradley Simmons live Instagram workout every day at 8am. It’s ok to not put makeup on and wear your pyjamas every day. Do what makes you happy.

As a society we are extremely good at following what we deem to be the ‘perfect image’ in order to gain respect and appraisal from others. But so what if we choose to indulge in a whole pack of biscuits with copious amounts of tea in front of the television instead of working out like you’re training for a marathon or writing a book or even worse shaving your head and bleaching it a wonderful shade of… let’s just say yellow.

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Well, this is awkward. I finally found the man I want to marry.. I will have to inform my boyfriend when he wakes up that I LOVE THIS GUY. His name is Captain Tom Moore and he has only gone and raised over 4 million for the NHS charities by walking the length and breadth of his 25 metre garden ONE HUNDRED times. He was trying to raise a thousand quid before his 100th birthday at the end of this month (30th), but he beat his target by an incredible amount because his loveliness makes our toes tingle and our hearts swell. He manages 10 laps/day. He says he wants to give back for when the NHS cares for him with his cancer and his broken hip. And now he has started on his next 100 lengths of the garden, with his zimmer. And… he is 99!!!! (If he can do this I can probably manage some sit ups later today). And has a long history of service to his country, starting as a civil engineer he then became a Captain in WW2 and served in Burma and India. And he is from my neck of the woods too originally.. Keighley in West Yorkshire but now lives in Bedfordshire. He said, ‘"When you think of who it is all for – all those brave and super doctors and nurses we have got – I think they deserve every penny, and I hope we get some more for them too." I just bloody love him. I woke up to go to the bathroom and ended up watching videos of him being lovely about our NHS megateam and walking the laps of the garden which just makes me love him even more. Right… I had better book the wedding venue. *Obv I am only joking, my boyfriend is lovely too. Have a great day everyone. I have a day off (hurrah!!!) but I know for sure I have 8 trillion emails to catch up with. Ok… it might be more like ten, whatever. 🖐 ps Breaking News: SHIT ! He just hit 12.5 Million!! Pps my boyfriend just woke up and is making me a coffee in bed so I will keep him for now. PPPS final edit of this post! Someone tells me you can send him a birthday card for his 100th birthday to the PO, 67 Bedford Rd, mK43 0LA and his fund is on Just Giving (he should be easy to find!)

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I’m certainly not knocking the positivity shared on social media but as a society we have an incredible way making people feel as if they’re failing. All the showcases of self-improvement for the majority of people can become a little daunting. We are living through a crisis where we are scared for our loved ones, ourselves, worried about life after the virus, will things get back to normal? We just don’t know. 

Motivating yourself whether you are in a job working harder than ever, in furlough or unemployed, is an accomplishment in itself. So, people of Instagram continue to share the positivity and fun, but I would also love to see people on social media share days where they have sat engulfed by a blanket watching Disney Plus or spent the day feeling a bit wobbly and tearful and share it for all of us to understand that we are all going through similar emotions.

For those days where I have been feeling not myself and a little fed up, there are three things which can instantly change my mood. The first is taking myself away from the house on a long walk listening to my favourite music letting my thoughts run wild. The most creative thoughts spring to my mind whilst walking as it’s the only time where I’m out of my comfort zone and actually have time to think on my own. 

The second activity which without failure picks up my mood almost immediately is reading. I have always been an avid reader but there is nothing more satisfying than getting lost in a book and forgetting everything that is collapsing around you. It’s almost as if the book and you are invincible. I’m currently reading the Noughts and Crosses series and it’s fair to say I’m making my way through the books at lightening speed. 

After months of refusing to download this app, I finally caved and I can hold my hands up and admit that Tik Tok has officially taken over my life. I could honestly sit there for hours scrolling through videos laughing so hard at how creative people can be. I am still yet to create my own personal Tik Tok but I have a feeling it might be very soon…

Apologies if this blog has been slightly different and less positive to my usual posts but I just felt the urge to speak the truth around how social media is extremely good at making us feel like failures and that it’s ok to have a wobble. We are all human. 

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